IMPORTANT NOTICE:

Tootsie Rolls — Not Vegetarian
Tootsie Pops — Vegetarian

For some reason the chewy chocolate center of your Tootsie Pop is slightly different then a regular Tootsie Roll. An important difference - Gelatin. It also seems as though Vanilla and the Red, White, and Blue Tootsie Rolls are also vegetarian. Very strange.

This way to Rape/Hobo/Urine City

me: oh my god I just had the scariest experience. I feel like I could puke my belly hurts so much

Sandy: what happened

me: I went to meet dina at the boroughhall stop and when I had to come back there was this dark little subway entrance on some side street. so I went down, overstepped some flooding and got to this area where there were steel elevators they said "Elevators to trains" but I never take elevators and I didn't want to start now b/c the only other person there was some sketchy guy.

so I looked around and saw a stairwell that was clearly marked "stairway to train" so I walked down the hallway and started down them. As I went down, the smell of urine got worse and worse and more trash started piling up and the lights got darker. And soon I got to the bottom (15 flights!) and there was no effing door! Homeless beds around and dark but no door

Sandy: oh my god. you discovered some secret hobo town

me: so I had to run at full speed back up all the flights, a perfect rape scenario even in daylight.

Then I found some woman to take the elevator with but WTF. Rape/hobo/urine city--

i found its entrance

Sandy: wow that is so crazy

me: but seriously scary

the feeling I had in my stomach was akin to when you were a kid and you would have to go to the basement--the speed with which you would run up the stairs or at least me and Kevin McAlister felt that way.
Sandy: its weird that this happened to you today. i also had a weird thing happen to me at lunch. i kind of got groped by an old dude.

me: WHAT

Sandy: yeah it was bizarre-it was like a drive-by, jog-by actually. hahhaha. he was jogging

Way 2 Go, Gov Pat

From the NYTimes, an article on how Uncle Stanley and Uncle Ronald helped young David Paterson champion gay rights and what it means to NY.

All I've got to say is how refreshing.

3 cavities, 2 hazardous wisdom teeth that need immediate removal, and a partridge in a pear tree.

It had been 3+ years since I'd been to the dentist. I know, I am disgusting. But I didn't have insurance and I feared the rebuke I would get from a hygienist on a power trip. Today I finally went and the news was grim and on the gums there was blood. I really regret not taking better care of my teeth, but today is a new day. I plan to buy a Sonicare toothbrush with part of my stimulus package check (yes we got it!) and I am going to impress that know-it-all masked face bitch with my sparkling chompers. Beware of the glare.

This also makes me think of that Meg Ryan Movie where she and that old man change places by some kind of horrible miracle, and in the end, the old man who stole her identity/body (and kissed her husband!) had just this to say about aging: Floss. That really got to me. Now more than ever.

Death Masks

Both Creepy and Amazing. Actually I love this but my stomach hurts looking at them.

Can you guess who this American Hero is?

Yo.

There is a direct connection between the lack of comments on this blog and the resulting lack of posts. if a tree falls in a forest and no one hears it, did it really post a blog?

Also we are moving cross country and I'm a busy bee.

it's gotta be the shoes

Spike Lee is going to direct a Michael Jordan documentary and bring it to Cannes next year. Will we see the long awaited return of Mars Blackmon?

i do like

Animals riding other animals.

I don't like

People who don’t use their sick days.

Probably the same ones who had perfect attendance in high school like this wiener. That’s the thing people, if I thought taking a day or two here or there was hurting my chances at being a leader of men, I probably would get my ass up and be ever-present, but it hasn’t and will not. So, take a little time off. Enjoy horrible daytime tv or go to the beach. Just remember, don’t show up the next day with a tan. That’s really the only rule. And if you do, tell them you needed air and fell asleep on a chair in the sun. or something. It’s like that saying, “you can’t take sick days with you when you’re dead.” That's really true.

This post is dedicated to a certain BOTR editor who spend one day in meetings and the next three in the hospital.

RIP: Sydney Pollack, not Redford. Although Redford's getting up there too. Watch out.

What a diva. Redford, not Pollack.