Scrooge McDuck

Ladies and Gentlemen, it is our privilege at TMT to welcome Mr. Scrooge McDuck, otherwise known as Uncle Scrooge or, in some circles, a tightwad old mallard. Born in Scotland, the son of Fergus McDuck (of the "Dirty" Dingus McDuck line) and his wife, Downy O'Drake, Scrooge immigrated to America at a young age and settled into Duckburg. There, he has amassed a great wealth, and in 2005 ranked #6 on Forbes richest Fictional 15 list (right behind #5 Burns, Charles Montgomery, whose $8.4 billion net worth was just above McDucks'). If you could please give him a warm round of applause, Mr. Scrooge McDuck!

TMT: Good morning, Sir. You look well rested.

S.M.: And why not?

TMT: Well we have it on good authority that you were counting your coin till early this morning, followed by an invigorating swim through your massive money bin. Diving like a dolphin.

S.M.: If I didn't count it, how would I know its weight?

TMT: Why don't you have your grandnephews do that work for you?

S.M.: They'd pinch it. I told them before, it's my number 1 coin. Mine. What do you know about them boys and their greed?

TMT: We've not been able to speak to them. May we see if-

S.M.: And another thing, if the old money pit were to empty, I would track down the ducks responsible.

(McDuck stares at the TMT editor, sizing her up, silently. Then, shaking away a thought, he continues in his thick brogue)

Then, I would just refill it. There is always another rainbow.

TMT: Good point. Well thanks, Mr. McDuck. We appreciate your time.

S.M.: That will be 1 thousand dollars.