Billy Crystal

You may have heard by now that Billy Crystal is leading off for the Yanks in today's exhibition game against the Pirates. TMT is excited for Crystal and knows of his life-time Yankee adoration. (Editor's note: Does Billy Crystal have cancer? This seems distinctly like Make A Wish), but also intensely trepidacious.

As far as his position, it seems that the comedian will act as Damon's designated hitter. Damon was fine with the changeup, saying that Billy's "been around longer." And that is exactly why TMT is concerned. Billy Crystal might die.

He's getting old folks. When Harry Met Sally was released when I was only 6. I'm 25 now! I mean, just think about City Slickers. He was dreading his birthday back in 91. So my point is this: The speed of a fast ball in the majors averages 88-97 MPH consistently. Someone is going to kill Billy Crystal.

Don't say we didn't warn you.