BACK without the crust.

Phew. That was a much needed blog break.
But we’re BACK.

Many things have happened since last we hung out, readers. TMT has decided to move from Jersey to Montana (this summer), AP’s toenail has fallen off (gross), and today begins my month without bread. You read right, no bread.

Not even just bread. I will not eat pasta, cereal, rice, or potatoes for one month. Why would a vegetarian whose diet consists of over 50% bread, give up her grainy staple? Because I am at that critical moment in a girl’s life when she needs to lose weight and fast. I’ve not really been concerned with my general plumping until now because 1) have to be in a bathing suit in a month 2) my pants.

Let me tell you about my pants. I have only one pair. I try to wash them regularly, but there is only so much washing you can do when you have only one pair of pants. And anyway, I have to wear pjs when I wash my pants or else I would have to be in my underwear. That’s how serious I am about having only one pair.

My work is starting to get wise to my one pair of pants. In an effort to be “in on the joke,” I finally broke down and jokingly told my coworkers that these jeans are it, and they didn’t seem surprised. I have a fear that I am going to be asked to buy another pair which will be really embarrassing.

The reason I have not bought another pair of pants: I don’t want to go up a size. I figured I would wear these until the time finally came, and I knew it would, when I had to lose the weight in order to keep my job or avoid public mockery. The time has come.

The time for no bread has come.