You Dirty Rat

Tomorrow is the Asian New Year. Welcome the Year of the Rat.

Traditionally, Rats should avoid Horses, but they can usually find their best friends and love interests in Monkeys, Dragons, and Oxen.

I was born in the year of the Pig, which was last year. People say the year of the Pig is lucky. I say, hogwash. Who wants to be a pig? (Especially not a chubby 10-year-old Maren, who shouldn't be eating the monster pile of fried rice she is about to dig into when someone says, "Maren's the Pig.")?

I think they say it's "lucky" like getting shit on by a bird is "lucky." What else are they going to say? "Sucks to be a piggy, poophead?"