Friday, November 21, 2008

Drunken Top Chef Commentary

Big Green: Let's pick names for everyone. She is a dude. Dudebot.
AP: She's is big bird. Big bird could be black, right?
Big Green: Big bird is a bird. He's not black or white. He's a bird.
AP: But he's gay, right?
Big Green: What?
AP: Or is he a woman?
Big motherfucking Green: What are you saying?
AP: So many of the S.S. characters are gay. That's the best thing about it; they are multiracial and multisexual.
Big Green: Birds is birds, man. I don't judge. But that contestant is weird. I think that Australian guy is going to win.
AP: He's not an Aussie.
BG: Well, he seems Australian.
AP: The bald guy or the tatoo guy is who I am rooting for.
BG: You like machos.
AP: I do.


  1. this is offensive and extremely weird. I apologize.

  2. hahahah hi howard-- first comment, long time reader lol. let's just say that I didn't read the headline and I was like oh my god they are so talking about top chef so I just had to comment because I got the weirdness. I too am rooting for the bald guy with tattoos from Hawaii--I like him because he is "scrappy" and learned his way working in kitchens and didn't go to some high-fallutin(?) culinary school (I haven't watched this week's yet. My friend Rachel LOOOVES the aussie (but I call him the Euro). She prefers those who are classically trained and confident. (snob) May the best chef win. haha.
    Miss you guys, apparently we share the same tv habits. 30 rock, top chef. Although I'm not sure you watch Oprah every day like I do lol.

  3. Well, I for one do like to catch some Harpo when I get the chance. (It really does sound like I'm talking about a whale there, which is unintentional.) But these "Live Fridays" are dull as hell. And I eagerly awaited her "Sex Show," only to find it completely outdated.

    I mean, didn't she see the Sex and the City where Charlotte has depressed privates? And all the girls look at their Lady V's in hand held mirrors?

    Way to be behind the times, Oprah. Vagina gazing is an ancient cosmic pastime.