Wednesday, January 30, 2008

It's raining in Vermont

Things to do in Vermont in the rain:  ping pong, air hockey, make a sandwich, watch dead man on campus, nothing.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

what a mess

t t a messOkay i'mI'm making good on my promosepromise to post again today and to continue to misprll things. for some reason iI have apronlem where iI double qorsswords up, vermontvermont for ezampleexample. our correespondent hasm't been able to gwtget us anuany pictures from vermontveemontvermontvermont yet nit qe'llwe'll see. so far vermont consists pfof a few key things, lpng trail ale, woods, snow, pbj'e, soar legs, frenchFrench canadians, large goupscoups of skiers on there swventiesseventies who arware republicans and talk about real estate amdand taxes on thwthe tranteam, and some other atuffstuff. dot worry the ppstsposts will beyter ppstsposts coming don't wprryworry. we're planning on tconducting a best beard of vermontVermont cpntest.  statstay tuned.


Epistle 1.

"Are you there God? It's me, Margaret. We're moving today. I'm so scared God. Please help me God. Don't let New Jersey be too horrible. Thank you."
--Are You There God, It's Me Margaret

Epistle 2.

You around, Marg? It's Big Green. I moved to Jersey, too! We've got loads in common. Like two little peas. NJ ain't so bad. Just don't go to Garden State Plaza.

PS I got breasts finally.

It's Time.

We have been informed by the Dootz that...
Cadbury Mini Eggs have hit the shelves. Go forth and eat
the real Easter miracle.


I totally read this as "McCain and Christ Hit the Polls," and I thought, wow, I guess McCain is gonna win then.

Big Blue Flu lands in Arizona

They've landed, but it looks like our NY Football Giants have the flu. Apparently, their flight was delayed two hours to clean up Aaron Ross' sick. We only want well wishes for the boys who arrived in Arizona looking adorable and unified (all black for all). Like last game, when we sent the care package of warmth that helped the Giants conquer their opponents and the cold in Green Bay, we've boxed up goodies for the Superbowl.

Eli, keep your eyes pealed for a 10 x 12 foot box addressed to Mrs. Honeyfoot (we have to be covert here). Inside you will find 42 boxes of theraflu, Vicks Vapor Rub (with sexy ladies to spread it about), and my Noni's little meatball soup. Drink, rub, and enjoy. Then, once you are all feeling better, dig down to the bottom of the box. In the tightly sealed tupperware, you will find a genuine lion's heart.

Eat it, and victory is yours.

Barbaro to Be Buried at Churchill Downs

It was just announced via the Associated Press that Barbaro, the 2006 Kentucky Derby champion, will be buried at the site of his victory. If you recall, Barbaro died in January 2007. TMT would like to know what his body has been doing for the last year. We have some ideas:

Lost America's Next Top Model.
Was stuffed inside the Rockefeller tree to fill out thinning branches.
Judged Georgia's annual peach cobbler competition (winner could not be determined).
Went to the moon. with Richard Branson.

Seriously, we are suckers as much as the next guy for tales of animal triumph and tragedy, but come ooonn. We have no empathy left for this dead horse and we look down on those who still give a shit.

look at this little sausage

That's one Big Belfry, Baby

What follows is a tribute to our favorite big heads.

Head Actor
Javier Bardem is a wonderful actor. TMT loved him in
No Country and Before Night Falls. He controversially said that if he were gay, he would "get married right now, just to piss off the church." We dig his cojones and his enormous head.

Head Reporter
Tim Russert is one of my favorite correspondents, and Meet the Press, the least horrible of all my Sunday morning political shows. I like that the name of his book was "Big Russ and Me," and that he went to Woodstock dressed in a Bills Jersey, carrying a case of beer. However, Tim should avoid sitting next to Brian Williams at a debate; next to William's smallish noggin, Russert's potato head looks colossal.

Head Liberal
I like Ted Kennedy. I like his liberal principles and his large head. Still, he did swim away from the scene of an accident that left a woman, the passenger of his car that went of a bridge, dead. Much to my surprise, that doesn't seem to bother anybody these days. It's easy to be distracted by his dream box.

True Love

This was the sign at the doctors office yesterday. It wasn't a joke.

A promise of more post but also more spelling mistakes.

maren has been carrying the blog this week becuase iI have been oa little busy. iI promispromos there will be more posts from me coming and some photos from our correspondent on vermontVermont.

Monday, January 28, 2008

Over Tyne

I was just reading a favorable review of multi-Pulitzer-Prize-winning author, Edward Albee's latest production, “Me, Myself & I,” in the New York Times, and was struck at the mention of Tyne Daly. Here's why.

When I married my husband, I thought I knew almost everything about him. I prided myself on being familiar with his peculiarities, the details of his personality and his body like no other. But then, one night, he told me he hated Tyne Daly. I didn't even know who she was.

"She's the old lady from Judging Amy."

Judging Amy? Why Adam hates the gray haired actress from a show made for middle aged women was beyond me. That he loathes Tim Daly's (of Wings) aged sister is surprising. But I love him for it. I thought, this is what they mean by getting to know each other for the rest of our lives.

Nice Bumps

Today, I have my allergy test.
I think it'll prove I'm allergic to hard work.

America Won't Reads

While I want to buy a new MacBook, I am seriously considering not doing so because of something Steve Jobs said at his MacWorld Expo. When asked what he thought of Amazon's book reader "Kindle," Jobs responded, “It doesn’t matter how good or bad the product is; the fact is that people don’t read anymore. Forty percent of the people in the U.S. read one book or less last year.”

Is that true? If yes, how does that compare to other countries? I guess I will still get a MacBook, but I am dismayed, not so much at Stevie (though he seems to gladly embrace that sad fact), but at America.

Sidenote: Anybody remember the America Reads program in elementary school? I got free meals at Ponderosa for reading books and I loved it.

Oh Billiam,

I feel the same way about you right now.

my substitute husband

Adam is on location for a movie he's staring in called "Two Can Play That Game," about chess, so I have designated my sub hub for the week to be...
Jack White

A few interesting things you may not not about this White Stripean:
He grew up the youngest of 10 children in Detroit and very nearly became a priest. "I'd got accepted to a seminary in Wisconsin, and I was gonna become a priest, but at the last second I thought, 'I’ll just go to public school,'" White said. "I had just gotten a new amplifier in my bedroom, and I didn’t think I was allowed to take it with me."

Sources online say that "White" was Meg's surname, and that when they got married in '96, Jack took it. However, with these two, I wouldn't be surprised to find out they were related, lovers, or related lovers. Nor would I be surprised to find out that Jack is actually 45, and Meg is his daughter.

Friday, January 25, 2008


Just for fun. Not for money.

Early 90's Heros

These two guys are heroes of my 11 year old life. I don't quite know what to write about them but there was a time in my life where I loved these goofy bastards like they were relatives of mine. Messier won the Stanley Cup in '94 with the Rangers. And Patrick Ewing brought the Knicks to the Finals in the same year. Although they lost in seven games to Hakeem Olajuwon and the Rockets. Thank you gentlemen.

Bears by Kent Rogowski

"Bears, is a series of portraits of the most unusual sort: ordinary teddy bears that have been turned inside out and restuffed."

Is it me, or aren't these little wrecks the damn cutest things?


I know we've already posted about Led Zeppelin and I'm sure we will post more, but it's Friday and I can't help but get the Led out. Interesting fact from Wikipedia, the four symbols on Led Zeppelin IV's cover, represent Jimmy Page, John Paul Jones, John Bonham, and Robert Plant (from left to right) respectively. I dig the asymmetry of Jimmy Page.

Fly to work

I know my birthday is over a month away but I had to drop this hint.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Chamber Magic

Adam's mom gets her nails done because, as the goddess who birthed my beloved, she deserves to be pampered. Recently, a fellow patron of polish shared with her his experience at "Chamber Magic." TMT thinks this sounds either amazing or ridiculous, and would very much like to attend "an evening of elegant miracles" to find out which.

Every Friday night at 7 and 9 pm, Steve Cohen, "the millionaire's magician," holds a private magic show in a suite at the Waldorf Astoria Towers. Guests are encouraged to dress in fine cocktail attire to make the whole thing feel like a trip back to old Manhattan of the early 20th century. Drinks, magic, and sassafras class. Tickets are $60 and are limited.

Watch Out!


I ran across this interesting site that is a partnership between a couple charities in Holland and Palestine. Basically, it seems like you pay 30 Euro and they spray paint your message on 'the Wall'. Then they send you some digital photos of it all. The idea is to bring attention to the wall's existence and it's effects on people but also 'to send you one single, simple message: "we are human beings, just like you, with sense of humour, and lust for life." Check it out for yourself.

What Word?

What's with the word "panties," people? I was a big opponent from way back; the word always sleazy but not in a good way, filthy like an old bum or a child molester, as in "Little girl, I want you to take off your..." You get the point.
So, imagine my surprise when I found out one of my favorite Mos Def songs, a chill, sexy little number, is called, you guessed it, "The Panties."
I was all "Mos, baby, are you a pedophile?" and "Black Jack Johnson, you a dirty old bum or what cause that word is foul, more rank even than the word "moist" (except when referring to cake) if you can believe it."
I love Mos Def, so I decided to listen to "The Panties" again, let it make his case. Right now, I'm somewhere between the 3rd and the 4th listen and let me tell you, The Panties is damn hot.

I don't know what this means for the world. It's a new day.

Plasic Japanese Birds

This website combines two things i love, those little life-like plastic birds that sing and you can put on your desk and Japanese websites. It just makes me happy.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008


Well, I half peed myself today.
The half that isn't urine soaked is proud of herself.

And this is a Jet powered out house.
Dear Readers,

I have been cranky (and Adam has been too busy to post), but that all changes now (well my crankiness; Adam is still tied up). The person that has turned things around: Paul Simon. Did you know that Simon was born in Newark? Or, that his second wife was Princess Leia Organa? Just now I was in a deep funk, scowling like a jackal, and then I heard...Diamonds on the Soles of her Shoes.

Also, he has always reminded me of kinder Martin Short.

Amanda: Why are you dressed like somebody died? Wednesday: Wait.

By Mother Goose

Monday's child is fair of face,
Tuesday's child is full of grace,
Wednesday's child is full of woe,
Thursday's child has far to go.
Friday's child is loving and giving,
Saturday's child works hard for a living,
But the child born on the Sabbath Day,
Is fair and wise and good and gay.

A couple of things:
1) I am disturbed that M.Goose was so religious. Look for our followup, "Exposing Mother Goose."
2). This nursery rhyme is how Wednesday Addams got her name.

4 times in the theater

The Dootz and I went to the movies a lot growing up. It wasn't always easy; the Dootz was an extreme cinematist; she had a lot of rules.

She demanded that we be in our seats a long while before the start of the film in order to get the right seats (the ones right behind the handicapped bar). She was maniacal about our promptness, which meant we were often the first and only ones in the theater for an hour.

But there were good things to. Together, we memorized the little tune that was the Showcase Cinemas theme and sang it proudly. The Dootz would have Milk Duds, and I, Junior Mints. And we would often see a movie more than once.

I saw "Titanic" 9 times. My sis, 14. I don't know who wins (both losers?), but our sheer dedication to sitting was impressive. There were other, much better movies we saw multiple times at the multiplex. But
on this sad day, the morning after Heath Ledger was found dead in Soho (something that makes me genuinely depressed), I would like to highlight "A Knight's Tale."

No doubt Ledger made better movies since this 2001 jousting romp and that he had a rich future ahead of him, but "A Knight's Tale" has some real strengths that make it worth your time: Heath Ledger at his most silly, a supporting cast that includes the wonderfully pale duo, Paul Bettany and Alan Tudyk, choreographed dance numbers, and all of this set to the music of Queen. We recommend seeing it at the very least once.

TMT wants to know what movies you've seen more than once in the theater? And remember, I told you about Titanic.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

10,000 B.C.

Is it just me or does this movie look horrible. I just don't think Roland Emmerich can make a movie that doesn't have a scene where a famous landmark gets fucked up. I don't know but everytime I see a preview for it I just think who gives a shit.

Sarah Connor: [Armed with a hypodermic syringe inudated with drain cleaner] I'll pump him full of this shit; I swear!

Few things make me fire-eyes mad as much as this new "Terminator: The Sarah Connors Chronicles" tv show. Let me make this clear, I LOVE the Terminator movies. Terminator 2 especially. And the number 1 reason that I do is because of the queen of kick-ass, Linda Hamilton. I hope Linda comes out of the woodwork stronger than ever and takes out every single viewer of this lame, blasphemous rip-off. Seems like too big a job? Just remember that she's the reason we've all made it past '97.

You, Sir, smell a lot like...

the body of Christ.

Somebody on my Path train this morning smelled like the Eucharist. I know it was the Eucharist because, when my sister and I were young, we used to visit a Monsignor we knew and he let us eat handfuls of unblessed wafers.
Sidenote: we also thought Monsignor was his first name.
If you live in New York, there is yet another way to recycle your clothes, Wearable Collections.

Another interesting thing from their sight, here you can learn all about recycling carpet. Basically they will place bins and collect used but wearable clothing which they transport to 'people who need it—people as far away as Africa, Central America, and South America.' With all the options we have it seems like if you are throwing away clothes and not recycling them, you're just an asshole.

Monday, January 21, 2008

Even more nerdy photos

I hope I am never called...

adequate. My cable box guide describes a movie as "an adequate thriller." I am not even going to tell you the title of the flick. adequate.

America Love

Nerd it out, Library of Congress style. Other then their blog, the Library of Congress has a new Flickr account to young it up. It's actually pretty effing cool. You can flip through some great American photos of the early 1900's. It's definitely my newest way of wasting time on the internet. I also have been accidently learning a lot. Keep your eyes peeled for Ol' Teddy.

Dear Eli Manning,

You are everything we'd ever hoped you would and could be.

Happy Martin Luther King, Jr. Day!

subtitled: We hope your Boss Isn't a Racist
That You Have Today Off

Martin Luther King, Jr., (January 15, 1929-April 4, 1968).
Read about his life and all too early death here.

TMT would like to congratulate NFL Referee, Mike Carey, who on February 3 will be the first black ref to officiate a Super Bowl. TMT thinks this is a long time coming in a sport with a clear racial inequality for leadership/official positions (Coaches, QBs, Refs). This season, there were 26 black refs on the 17 crews, a single-season high. The NFL congratulates itself for making this Mike Carey move a little too much for our liking.

"Blacks also have been well-represented in the Super Bowl at other positions, starting with Burl Toler, a former player, who was involved of several of the early games."

1. That typo ("involved of several") is theirs not ours. Clearly an important story.
2. Burl's "involvement" is bizarrely vague.

Still, it's about time, and Mike Carey, who in his "private life owns a skiing accessories company," has been among the NFL's top crew chiefs for a decade and has been a Super Bowl alternate. He seems ready for the big game. Let's just hope that in his private life he also roots for the Giants.

Friday, January 18, 2008

Out Early.

I get out at 3 today! ROCK.
(More on Robert Plant's Pants later)

Update: Stop Searching for Bobby Fischer

Bobby Fischer, the iconic chess genius has died at the age of 64 at a hospital in Reykjavík, Iceland. The cause of death has not been released, but much speculation is expected as this is Bobby Fischer we are talking about, a man for whom intrigue has always played a part. Fischer reached the height of fame in the summer of 1972 when he took the world championship from the Russian-born grandmaster Boris Spassky, making him the first and only American to win the title (it's pretty much dominated by Russians).

It was not only his victory, but also his style of play that made him a chess icon.

From the New York Times:

“It was Bobby Fischer who had, single-handedly, made the world recognize that chess on its highest level was as competitive as football, as thrilling as a duel to the death, as esthetically satisfying as a fine work of art, as intellectually demanding as any form of human activity,” wrote Harold C. Schonberg, who reported on the Reykjavik match for The New York Times, in his 1973 book, “Grandmasters of Chess.”

After his win, Bobby Fischer went into seclusion that he'd rarely come out of. He emerged briefly in 92 after 2 decades of hiding to "defy an American ban on conducting business in wartorn Yugoslavia to play a $5 million match" against his old nemesis, Spassky. He won and disappeared again, alone. There is speculation and some info as to where he went.

"He lived in Budapest -- and possibly the Philippines and Switzerland -- and emerged now and then on radio stations in Iceland, Hungary and the Philippines to rant in increasingly belligerent terms against the United States and against Jews."

He made many, many seriously antisemitic claims, like his belief in a world-wide Jewish Conspiracy, that 911 was a good thing, because with a police state (which he hoped would be the result of the attacks) comes the outlawing of synagogues and rounding up of "Jew Leaders."

So, maybe we won't rush to call him an American hero. Still, he is tremendously interesting. Was in Japanese jail for 8 months, was invited to the white house to meet Nixon, invented new ways to play chess, he reportedly had an I.Q of 181--And we suggest you read more here.

Super Black

This new black is way more black, and that means it's way better. A research team led by Pulickel Ajayan at Rice University created a material that absorbs 99.9% of light. It's about 30 times darker then current scientific standard of black. Here's three things that make this blacker.

It is composed of carbon nano-tubes, tiny tubes of tightly rolled carbon that are 400 hundred times smaller than the diameter of a strand of hair. The carbon helps absorb some of the light.

These tubes are standing on end, much like a patch of grass. This arrangement traps light in the tiny gaps between the "blades."

The researchers have also made the surface of this carbon nano-tube carpet irregular and rough to cut down on reflectivity.

Pictured above the old black (left) and the new black (right).

Send Hand Warmers!

Good morning, sports fans.
This Sunday, your NY Football Giants take on the Packers of Green Bay in frigid Wisconsin. As of Friday morning, the forecast is worse than bleak; highs are subzero.

TMT is disappointed that the game should prove less a battle of skill and will, and more a test of body heat. For a moment, let's pretend Adam is NY and I am a Cheddar Head. Well, I'm always freezing and my husband is a sweaty SOB. AP sleeps barely clothed and he can barely make me out under my mountain of comforters.

So, while I am the better tackle, inarguably superior tight end, quarterback, and wide receiver than my man, "Chuckles the Clown Parry," the odds are in his favor on frozen fields. Giant Adam wins!

Unfortunately, Green Bay is known to hang tough in harsh winds. You are going to hear this weekend's matchups likened to the infamous/famous "Ice Bowl" of 1967, the NFL Championship game between the Packers and Dallas Cowboys.

From the Pro Football Hall of Fame:

Played at Lambeau Field on December 31, the temperature at game time registered a frigid 13 degrees below zero. Nonetheless, more than 50,000 parka-clad fans braved the elements that New Year’s Eve and watched in awe as the Packers claimed their third consecutive NFL title, with a 21-17 victory.

TMT hope that this young Packers team doesn't handle the cold as well as their grizzly predecessors. But with tough and lovable Brett Favre leading the pack(ers), we are nervous. Still, Go Big Blue.

PS. Eli, check your mail. We've sent cold weather care packages (scotch, and a horse for you to kill, cut open, and crawl inside for warmth if you have to.)

Thursday, January 17, 2008

TMT would like to take a moment to congratulate our friend and yours, Sandy,
of Blog de la Revolucion, on her new job as a judge.

Have You Seen This Boy?

This is a new series that asks the question, "What happened to these real American Heroes?" It is also an homage to Terminator 2 (for my money, the better Terminator, and a favorite of TMT).

Readers, Have You Seen This Boy?