Gus gets mad and says something he'll regret.

Everyone loves an angry blog. In an attempt to get some more love from the internet, Too Much Teeth is inviting a friend to start a new series here. The series is called 'Gus gets mad and says something he'll regret.' Like anyone else, Gus gets angry and when he's angry he doesn't exactly think straight. From now on though, when he reaches the height of his anger, he's going to start writing. We're posting it as part therapy/anger management, part ratings booster. Either way, someone benefits. As Gus has said himself, "my angry posts aren't funny, they're literally just angry. " In this week's installment Britney Spears and Dr.Phil feel his wrath. Celebrities and Gus's red hot latin fury. Enjoy.

Over the past several years I have done absolutely everything in my power to avoid being exposed to Britney Spears, her family, or her ex-family. My hatred for the entire Spears clan has even forced me to look down on anyone that takes any interest whatsoever in any aspect of her life. So much so that I have produced a scathing internal criticism of 99.9% of American citizens aged 7 - 77. Once a faithful reader of CNN.com, their vigilant updates on Britney's status has caused me to disregard the news site as Globe-esque nonsense. Perfectly content in my inner seething, I carried on with my life truly believing that pretty much everyone I came into contact with was an idiot. Then, something extraordinary happened. I was sitting on my couch watching TV with my father as a segment concerning Britney's new level of insanity came on. My father, willing to watch absolutely ANYTHING that's displayed on that flickering box, did not reach for the remote. I began to cringe. And then?...pity. I felt pity for Ms Spears as pictures of her being restrained flashed on the screen. She had a look on her face of genuine pain and discomfort. I couldn't help but feel bad for her. And just as quickly as my hatred for her vanished, it all came tumbling back with unrestrained fury. Only this time it wasn't directed towards a 20-something year old teeny bopper (is that still the term?). Now, it was aimed directly at an ego maniacal, self-promoting 40 something year- old doctor. As Dr Phil began to divulge the details of Britney's mental collapse on national television, I started thinking that maybe she isn't to blame for the flood of totally irrelevant celebrity gossip that's plaguing our news. Dr Phil has always been kind of a douchebag, which in the grand scheme of things is pretty harmless. Some of my best friends are douchebags. But as I sat there and listened to this doctor blabbering on E-News about how he wanted to help Britney (probably due to his extensive experience with serious mental breakdowns), but things got too "intense," I realized a characteristic rear its ugly head in him that I had never realized existed. He saw someone in pain and thought, "Now's my chance to take advantage of the situation and get as many interviews (and thus airtime) as possible." For anyone that has been thinking throughout this entire blog, "Why is he writing about Britney Spears" (which I have certainly been wondering myself), this has all been leading one conclusion. Dr. Phil is a piece of shit. And not just any ordinary piece of shit that you might find on cable television. He is the kind of piece of shit that has no qualms with capitalizing on someone that may be in real trouble. "Well, maybe he really DOES want to help her, did you ever think of that?" Yes I have, and if that were true, the only thing he would have to say to the media about Britney's condition is, "No comment."