Thursday, June 12, 2008

Slobs that raised us

If I were an alien lifeform dropped onto earth, into a Hallmark Store, I would think man pitiable. And I mean Man (with a penis). Lazy, beer drinking farters, who like nothing but golf, tv, and fixing things. When I went to the card store this year for father's day, I was totally grossed out. The worst was a card with a beer on the front. Under the bottle it said "Beer." Then inside, just "Happy Father's Day."

Here's to you, my alcoholic caveman.

Also so many cards about farting. Are men really so proud of their flatulence that it has become their celebrated, defining characteristic? Maybe. I admit my dad does play golf, does like to park it on the couch, does enjoy a frosty brew. Am I just fighting the true nature of men?

Here's the thing: As a female (writer), I am insulted by chick-lit. Fuck "Shopaholic does the mall." I like shoes but no more than muscle cars. I am a woman who objects to my stereotype. So, when I see so many men embrace this "King of Queens" character as their hero, and when I read that boys performance in school is on a steep decline, I get upset. Sure it takes some energy to resist the category, but effing do it. Or are you just too lazy?

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