Flaxseed, Bad Checks, and Roids.

Marion Jones, American hero, track and field superstar, and leader of men, has been sentenced to 6 months in prison after pleading guilty in October to crimes relating to perjury, performance-enhancing drugs, and check fraud. It seems Ms. Jones signed some checks she couldn't cash on and off the field.

Jones rose to tremendously muscular fame at the 2000 Summer Olympics in Sydney, where she won three gold and two bronze medals. Then like everybody and their brother, Jones admitted that during the Olympic years, her former trainer, Trevor Graham, gave her a substance he told her was flaxseed oil. (Editor's note: TMT loves Flaxseed and eat it with Hemp Granola cereal almost every morning. The only place it makes us run fast is to the bathroom). When Jones finally realized the truth, that her trainer was drugging her, she still denied doping.

Finally, after admitting to years of lying about her steroid use, Jones relinquished her Olympic medals to the United States Anti-Doping Agency (sober dudes who take turns with their pirate booty--trophies, tiaras, and medals of those they now deem undeserving). Presently, the International Olympic Committee (those who can't play and can't coach, join the...) is figuring out just how to adjust the medal standings to all the athletes that competed against Jones.

So, now she is sentenced for six months. Though it shouldn't be too bad; I'd like to see who would make Marion Jones jail bait.

Also, remember Flo-Jo. Now that woman was on steroids. Look at those fingernails!