Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
"Are you there God? It's me, Margaret. We're moving today. I'm so scared God. Please help me God. Don't let New Jersey be too horrible. Thank you."
--Are You There God, It's Me Margaret
You around, Marg? It's Big Green. I moved to Jersey, too! We've got loads in common. Like two little peas. NJ ain't so bad. Just don't go to Garden State Plaza.
PS I got breasts finally.
Eli, keep your eyes pealed for a 10 x 12 foot box addressed to Mrs. Honeyfoot (we have to be covert here). Inside you will find 42 boxes of theraflu, Vicks Vapor Rub (with sexy ladies to spread it about), and my Noni's little meatball soup. Drink, rub, and enjoy. Then, once you are all feeling better, dig down to the bottom of the box. In the tightly sealed tupperware, you will find a genuine lion's heart.
Eat it, and victory is yours.
Lost America's Next Top Model.
Was stuffed inside the Rockefeller tree to fill out thinning branches.
Judged Georgia's annual peach cobbler competition (winner could not be determined).
Went to the moon. with Richard Branson.
Seriously, we are suckers as much as the next guy for tales of animal triumph and tragedy, but come ooonn. We have no empathy left for this dead horse and we look down on those who still give a shit.
Javier Bardem is a wonderful actor. TMT loved him in No Country and Before Night Falls. He controversially said that if he were gay, he would "get married right now, just to piss off the church." We dig his cojones and his enormous head.
Tim Russert is one of my favorite correspondents, and Meet the Press, the least horrible of all my Sunday morning political shows. I like that the name of his book was "Big Russ and Me," and that he went to Woodstock dressed in a Bills Jersey, carrying a case of beer. However, Tim should avoid sitting next to Brian Williams at a debate; next to William's smallish noggin, Russert's potato head looks colossal.
I like Ted Kennedy. I like his liberal principles and his large head. Still, he did swim away from the scene of an accident that left a woman, the passenger of his car that went of a bridge, dead. Much to my surprise, that doesn't seem to bother anybody these days. It's easy to be distracted by his dream box.
Monday, January 28, 2008
When I married my husband, I thought I knew almost everything about him. I prided myself on being familiar with his peculiarities, the details of his personality and his body like no other. But then, one night, he told me he hated Tyne Daly. I didn't even know who she was.
"She's the old lady from Judging Amy."
Judging Amy? Why Adam hates the gray haired actress from a show made for middle aged women was beyond me. That he loathes Tim Daly's (of Wings) aged sister is surprising. But I love him for it. I thought, this is what they mean by getting to know each other for the rest of our lives.
While I want to buy a new MacBook, I am seriously considering not doing so because of something Steve Jobs said at his MacWorld Expo. When asked what he thought of Amazon's book reader "Kindle," Jobs responded, “It doesn’t matter how good or bad the product is; the fact is that people don’t read anymore. Forty percent of the people in the U.S. read one book or less last year.”
Is that true? If yes, how does that compare to other countries? I guess I will still get a MacBook, but I am dismayed, not so much at Stevie (though he seems to gladly embrace that sad fact), but at America.
Sidenote: Anybody remember the America Reads program in elementary school? I got free meals at Ponderosa for reading books and I loved it.
A few interesting things you may not not about this White Stripean:
He grew up the youngest of 10 children in Detroit and very nearly became a priest. "I'd got accepted to a seminary in Wisconsin, and I was gonna become a priest, but at the last second I thought, 'I’ll just go to public school,'" White said. "I had just gotten a new amplifier in my bedroom, and I didn’t think I was allowed to take it with me."
Sources online say that "White" was Meg's surname, and that when they got married in '96, Jack took it. However, with these two, I wouldn't be surprised to find out they were related, lovers, or related lovers. Nor would I be surprised to find out that Jack is actually 45, and Meg is his daughter.
Friday, January 25, 2008
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Every Friday night at 7 and 9 pm, Steve Cohen, "the millionaire's magician," holds a private magic show in a suite at the Waldorf Astoria Towers. Guests are encouraged to dress in fine cocktail attire to make the whole thing feel like a trip back to old Manhattan of the early 20th century. Drinks, magic, and sassafras class. Tickets are $60 and are limited.
So, imagine my surprise when I found out one of my favorite Mos Def songs, a chill, sexy little number, is called, you guessed it, "The Panties."
I was all "Mos, baby, are you a pedophile?" and "Black Jack Johnson, you a dirty old bum or what cause that word is foul, more rank even than the word "moist" (except when referring to cake) if you can believe it."
I love Mos Def, so I decided to listen to "The Panties" again, let it make his case. Right now, I'm somewhere between the 3rd and the 4th listen and let me tell you, The Panties is damn hot.
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
I have been cranky (and Adam has been too busy to post), but that all changes now (well my crankiness; Adam is still tied up). The person that has turned things around: Paul Simon. Did you know that Simon was born in Newark? Or, that his second wife was Princess Leia Organa? Just now I was in a deep funk, scowling like a jackal, and then I heard...Diamonds on the Soles of her Shoes.
Also, he has always reminded me of kinder Martin Short.
Monday's child is fair of face,
Tuesday's child is full of grace,
Wednesday's child is full of woe,
Thursday's child has far to go.
Friday's child is loving and giving,
Saturday's child works hard for a living,
But the child born on the Sabbath Day,
Is fair and wise and good and gay.
1) I am disturbed that M.Goose was so religious. Look for our followup, "Exposing Mother Goose."
2). This nursery rhyme is how Wednesday Addams got her name.
She demanded that we be in our seats a long while before the start of the film in order to get the right seats (the ones right behind the handicapped bar). She was maniacal about our promptness, which meant we were often the first and only ones in the theater for an hour.
But there were good things to. Together, we memorized the little tune that was the Showcase Cinemas theme and sang it proudly. The Dootz would have Milk Duds, and I, Junior Mints. And we would often see a movie more than once.
I saw "Titanic" 9 times. My sis, 14. I don't know who wins (both losers?), but our sheer dedication to sitting was impressive. There were other, much better movies we saw multiple times at the multiplex. But on this sad day, the morning after Heath Ledger was found dead in Soho (something that makes me genuinely depressed), I would like to highlight "A Knight's Tale."
No doubt Ledger made better movies since this 2001 jousting romp and that he had a rich future ahead of him, but "A Knight's Tale" has some real strengths that make it worth your time: Heath Ledger at his most silly, a supporting cast that includes the wonderfully pale duo, Paul Bettany and Alan Tudyk, choreographed dance numbers, and all of this set to the music of Queen. We recommend seeing it at the very least once.
TMT wants to know what movies you've seen more than once in the theater? And remember, I told you about Titanic.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Sarah Connor: [Armed with a hypodermic syringe inudated with drain cleaner] I'll pump him full of this shit; I swear!
Few things make me fire-eyes mad as much as this new "Terminator: The Sarah Connors Chronicles" tv show. Let me make this clear, I LOVE the Terminator movies. Terminator 2 especially. And the number 1 reason that I do is because of the queen of kick-ass, Linda Hamilton. I hope Linda comes out of the woodwork stronger than ever and takes out every single viewer of this lame, blasphemous rip-off. Seems like too big a job? Just remember that she's the reason we've all made it past '97.
the body of Christ.
Somebody on my Path train this morning smelled like the Eucharist. I know it was the Eucharist because, when my sister and I were young, we used to visit a Monsignor we knew and he let us eat handfuls of unblessed wafers.
Sidenote: we also thought Monsignor was his first name.
Another interesting thing from their sight, here you can learn all about recycling carpet. Basically they will place bins and collect used but wearable clothing which they transport to 'people who need it—people as far away as Africa, Central America, and South America.' With all the options we have it seems like if you are throwing away clothes and not recycling them, you're just an asshole.
Monday, January 21, 2008
and That You Have Today Off
Read about his life and all too early death here.
TMT would like to congratulate NFL Referee, Mike Carey, who on February 3 will be the first black ref to officiate a Super Bowl. TMT thinks this is a long time coming in a sport with a clear racial inequality for leadership/official positions (Coaches, QBs, Refs). This season, there were 26 black refs on the 17 crews, a single-season high. The NFL congratulates itself for making this Mike Carey move a little too much for our liking.
"Blacks also have been well-represented in the Super Bowl at other positions, starting with Burl Toler, a former player, who was involved of several of the early games."
1. That typo ("involved of several") is theirs not ours. Clearly an important story.
2. Burl's "involvement" is bizarrely vague.
Still, it's about time, and Mike Carey, who in his "private life owns a skiing accessories company," has been among the NFL's top crew chiefs for a decade and has been a Super Bowl alternate. He seems ready for the big game. Let's just hope that in his private life he also roots for the Giants.
Friday, January 18, 2008
It was not only his victory, but also his style of play that made him a chess icon.
From the New York Times:
“It was Bobby Fischer who had, single-handedly, made the world recognize that chess on its highest level was as competitive as football, as thrilling as a duel to the death, as esthetically satisfying as a fine work of art, as intellectually demanding as any form of human activity,” wrote Harold C. Schonberg, who reported on the Reykjavik match for The New York Times, in his 1973 book, “Grandmasters of Chess.”After his win, Bobby Fischer went into seclusion that he'd rarely come out of. He emerged briefly in 92 after 2 decades of hiding to "defy an American ban on conducting business in wartorn Yugoslavia to play a $5 million match" against his old nemesis, Spassky. He won and disappeared again, alone. There is speculation and some info as to where he went.
"He lived in Budapest -- and possibly the Philippines and Switzerland -- and emerged now and then on radio stations in Iceland, Hungary and the Philippines to rant in increasingly belligerent terms against the United States and against Jews."
He made many, many seriously antisemitic claims, like his belief in a world-wide Jewish Conspiracy, that 911 was a good thing, because with a police state (which he hoped would be the result of the attacks) comes the outlawing of synagogues and rounding up of "Jew Leaders."
So, maybe we won't rush to call him an American hero. Still, he is tremendously interesting. Was in Japanese jail for 8 months, was invited to the white house to meet Nixon, invented new ways to play chess, he reportedly had an I.Q of 181--And we suggest you read more here.
It is composed of carbon nano-tubes, tiny tubes of tightly rolled carbon that are 400 hundred times smaller than the diameter of a strand of hair. The carbon helps absorb some of the light.
These tubes are standing on end, much like a patch of grass. This arrangement traps light in the tiny gaps between the "blades."
The researchers have also made the surface of this carbon nano-tube carpet irregular and rough to cut down on reflectivity.Pictured above the old black (left) and the new black (right).
This Sunday, your NY Football Giants take on the Packers of Green Bay in frigid Wisconsin. As of Friday morning, the forecast is worse than bleak; highs are subzero.
TMT is disappointed that the game should prove less a battle of skill and will, and more a test of body heat. For a moment, let's pretend Adam is NY and I am a Cheddar Head. Well, I'm always freezing and my husband is a sweaty SOB. AP sleeps barely clothed and he can barely make me out under my mountain of comforters.
So, while I am the better tackle, inarguably superior tight end, quarterback, and wide receiver than my man, "Chuckles the Clown Parry," the odds are in his favor on frozen fields. Giant Adam wins!
Unfortunately, Green Bay is known to hang tough in harsh winds. You are going to hear this weekend's matchups likened to the infamous/famous "Ice Bowl" of 1967, the NFL Championship game between the Packers and Dallas Cowboys.
From the Pro Football Hall of Fame:
Played at Lambeau Field on December 31, the temperature at game time registered a frigid 13 degrees below zero. Nonetheless, more than 50,000 parka-clad fans braved the elements that New Year’s Eve and watched in awe as the Packers claimed their third consecutive NFL title, with a 21-17 victory.
TMT hope that this young Packers team doesn't handle the cold as well as their grizzly predecessors. But with tough and lovable Brett Favre leading the pack(ers), we are nervous. Still, Go Big Blue.
PS. Eli, check your mail. We've sent cold weather care packages (scotch, and a horse for you to kill, cut open, and crawl inside for warmth if you have to.)